Cloverfield
22 January 2008I’m stepping outside the walls of my own blog here. I can’t help but write a review on a movie that I just watched — Cloverfield. Yeah, it’s not on the tube yet, and, gods willing, it never will be.
This movie really sucked. The premise was that like the Blair Witch Project in that all of the footage was taken from a camcorder that a layperson was holding. Needless to say, it made for a very frustrating movie experience. It was literally like watching someone else play a video game. I just wanted to grab the controls (camera) away from that jerk and film the movie myself. It was like watching the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but with slightly better lighting. And why even bother putting in special effects? You could barely see what was going on. It was like having a one-legged cameraman have an epileptic seizure in the middle of an earthquake while trying to balance himself on a beach ball. If you want to see this movie, instead rent the following movies and combine them in your mind (note: you must watch them while bouncing upside-down on a trampoline):
Blair Witch Project, Godzilla, Dawn of the Dead (original), Starship Troopers.
As you will see, there isn’t an ounce of originality in the entire film. The acting was mediocre, the creature was lame, even the credits sucked. I felt both carsick and airsick at the same time.
Do yourself a favor and don’t see this movie. Just don’t.
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